Help For Her Online Ordeal – Rainah

Real Life Stories of Change

Help For Her Online Ordeal - Rainah

Rainah, a single mother of four children, sought professional help to end the trauma of being cyber bullied by her ex-husband.

Cyber bullying sparked from divorce

It's one thing to be cyber bullied by strangers, but another to be abused by someone who used to be dear to you. That's what happened to Rainah* who found herself the target of hurtful online comments from her ex-husband and his friends during her divorce proceedings.

Dark days turned into years

While taking on 6 part-time jobs to support her young family as her ex-husband was unemployed, Rainah also had to contend with her ex-husband beating their four children. “It was a really difficult time for me, as the bullying went on for many years. I lost more than 10kg twice,” she said.

It was only when she was informed by her friends that her husband's unpleasant remarks about her online had reached people outside of her social circle that she realised that the situation had spun out of control. Rainah lamented, “There were people who were complete strangers threatening me on the internet saying that they knew dark secrets about me.”

Seeking professional help

Rainah initially kept her years of abuse to herself as she didn't want to trouble her parents and siblings. She tried her best to focus on her children, but when they started to know what had happened, they cried. “My children and I share a close bond. I tried to stay focused on my studies, jobs and my children, but it had affected my health so much that I suffered from migraines, exhaustion and depression. I suffered a bout of vomiting, and was eventually admitted to hospital.”

Knowing that she couldn't keep the reason for her worsening health a secret any more, she told her parents about the cyber bullying. They understood and gave her strong support which empowered her to seek professional counselling. That proved to be the point that helped turn her life around.

“Don't handle problems alone”

Looking back, Rainah felt that she should have sought professional help earlier. “The entire episode lasted over many years. I should've known to not handle my problems alone.”

The ordeal taught her many important lessons that she imparted to her children. Apart from teaching them the painful effects of cyber bullying, her children also learnt to discern the truth from false information, and to talk their problems out instead of hiding behind a computer screen to bully others. “They can always come to me instead of trying to handle everything themselves.”

Rainah also had this piece of vital advice to share: “I feel that everyone, not just the young, should learn about cyber wellness – even adults.”

*Real name not displayed to protect her identity.

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