Real Life Stories of ChangeStaying Friends with His Cyber Bully – Chong Ee Jay
Discovering that his online impersonator was a friend, Ee Jay sought revenge – until their mutual friends stepped in.Impersonated online and cyber bullied
When Ee Jay was in school during his young adult years, a jealous male friend started a fake Facebook profile to wreak havoc on his reputation. It was not until someone went to verify if the fake profile was his that he realised what was going on.Retaliating against his cyber bully
Ee Jay soon discovered the identity of his impersonator after a few days of intense investigation – it was his close friend! Angry and disappointed, he decided to launch a tit-for-tat online attack on him instead of trying to resolve the conflict. His impersonator retaliated; their online spat was displayed in full view of their mutual friends.
Tired of seeing their friendship being distorted, their mutual friends stepped in and flagged their conflict to a teacher. Both were hauled into the teacher's office for a meeting.Resolving their conflict
What his teacher said next made a tremendous impact on Ee Jay. “Just because you were the recipient of a malicious attack, it didn't qualify you to return it. You could have taken the case to the teachers. Since you took matters into your own hands, that makes you a bully too.”
Both men underwent counselling to help them reconcile. “Throwing things out onto the internet wasn't the right thing to do, as friends were affected from the conflict as well,” said Ee Jay. They resolved their conflict and continued to be good friends who studied together for exams. “It's one of those rare and few cases where we continued to be good friends even up to today,” he added.Advice to others
Looking back on his lesson learnt, Ee Jay has the following advice to offer, “You may be emotionally charged and want to retaliate or respond (to your cyber bully), but think twice, or thrice as one wrong move can have serious repercussions on your reputation and relationships with your friends.”